Winter Thoughts; Do you know the most Taboo Word? Widow.

Last night at a party a few of us were talking about how many women lost their husbands this year—then in a whisper one of them said: “I simply don’t know how I’d survive.”  She looked me straight in the eye almost as if she thought I knew how it could be done…as if I knew! It was a question I’d also pondered.

My friend Jane would know what to do. She reminds me that painful times of transition are like the stage of transition in childbirth—these are the hardest moments between labor and pushing. “You can’t do anything other than wait and endure” she said with a long pregnant pause.  So I guess that’s it: you trust the process and stop trying to take control.

I agree….but still….I wanted to know what I needed to ‘shore up’ to make me strong for those times…as if one could prepare.  “You can’t ever know when things will change…” she added, and I thought of how she had to ride through sudden waves of change in her life. But she survived.

The idea of one’s partner dying and becoming single again looms large for many of us—we’re grateful for our lives yet we  look at our single friends with envy because they’ve had practice navigating the emotions of going to bed alone and waking up to a day without a partner. We’ve forgotten the rhythm of the single life.

After too many conversations about this, it appears that the bottom line is that it’s not about how much money one has, or if one has enough friends, or if one is healthy enough or wise enough to not have this catastrophe sweep over one like a flood…it happens and one must endure. One waits and gradually moves into the next chapter of our life.

“We learn how to do it when we have to do it” my friend said. Until then, I’d say I need to care for my Soul. To nourish my interior life. I see this writing is a way of doing paying attention to the whisperings of my Soul and a way of asking questions of my complacency. And I wonder, how could I do this living better now?

Perhaps we need to keep having this conversation. What do you think? For me, living better now means making good choices…shall I write today? Have lunch with a friend? Clean house and cook a good meal? Make pots or do an astrology reading? What do you do--especially in times of transition?

                                                               ~

This blog was started when Saturn moved into Capricorn at the time of the New Moon. New Moons are good times for planting the seeds of new beginnings. But Saturn never hands anything over like a piece of cake—that’s Jupiter’s domain. Saturn demands work, discipline and perseverance…and rewards for efforts in the long run.

 We’ll see…if you like this blog I hope you’ll put your name in the box on the side to get it as an email. It’s such encouragement. Thank you~!